Couple

To exchange is not to deceive

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Swinging gives bodies and plays with feelings. Practiced in couple according to strict rules, it has finally little relation with the infidelity, secret and romantic.

Jean-Baptiste Drouet

Swinging is on the rise. The trendy literature (Michel Houellebecq or Catherine Millet) offers him letters of nobility, the clubs multiply, (more than a hundred in France) and the "followers" are more and more young. Is it the sign of a new way of being unfaithful without "deceiving", or remaining faithful while offering the luxury of a few misbehavior under the gaze of the other? Risks and stakes of this infidelity lived with two.

Younger and younger couples

Florence and Yann, aged 24 and 31, are part of the "new generation" of swingers. A rejuvenation of this population that can be explained by a disenchantment earlier and earlier vis-à-vis sexuality. It is no longer in the middle of the forties that couples begin to want to spice up their lives, but around the thirties, say sexologists. The police specialized in the control of establishments of the kind note that the average age has decreased considerably in thirty years. The Internet and its swingers sites have since been there.

Moreover, according to the psychoanalyst Gerard Pommier, it is clear that the perversion soft-exhibitionism or voyeurism - can make today figure of model which it is of good tone to conform.

This is how Florence and Yann followed the classic route that leads from a simple desire for voyeurism to acting out. "Yann had read an article about a special club, says Florence. I followed him, telling myself that, at worst, I preferred to see Yann deceive me under my control and in front of me of a clandestine affair with a mistress whom he could fall in love with. At the end of our third evening, he has made love with an older woman, more liberated and demonstrative than I. This age difference reassured me, almost secure.The same evening, uninhibited by alcohol, I lavished a blowjob on a man alone, very handsome, Yann was troubled, lost, like a drunk kid, the next day he was mouthed and cried, we never went back to that kind of place. "

The man decides , the woman recidivates

"In 90% of the cases, it is at the initiative of the man that a couple goes to a Swinger place, but it is the woman who pushes his companion to reoffend, notes the manager of a private club in Paris. At first, the woman follows more out of love than out of curiosity. "She adds, amused:" It's after the process reverses. When the woman discovers that she can, through multipartnership, sappism or other erotic games, enrich her sexuality, the man panics and stops everything."

" Logic, confirms the psychiatrist Willy Pasini. Courageous, women go much further when they break taboos. The swinger has motivations that he does not always admit, such homosexuality repressed when he enjoys by proxy the spectacle of his partner making love with another. Or he hates comparison, especially when it is unfavorable to him. When a swinger couple separates, the woman often repeats this practice, the man very rarely. "

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