Self

How to think for myself?

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I would like to know how to escape from phrases, words, ways of thinking all ready, already formatted, pre-recorded I would say. Which of course are very negative and ruin my existence. How to think for myself, to leave me a place? Caroline0906 - 37 years old

Christophe André

Psychiatrist and psychotherapist

answers you

"You are nil", "Leaves", "It's not for you" ... Negative self-injunctions are frequent in the problems of anxiety ("it will end badly"), depression ("what's the point?"), self-esteem ("you do not care about anyone"), etc.

They have a depressing power and considerable paralyzing, they represent a kind of negative Coue method, destructive influence. These negative convictions about oneself, the world, others, have generally existed for a long time, so long that people who are parasitized by them are no longer even aware of their existence; which is not your case: you are aware of it, which represents an important first step. They often come to us from our family (our parents spoke to each other this way, or spoke to us in this way) or shocking or frequent life events (chess, abandonment, rejection).

This toxic ready-to-think then wakes up as soon as we are confronted with difficult moments or moral declines: we begin to ruminate, to feel incapable and helpless, to fall back on ourselves and to flee life.

These fully formatted thought contents are a privileged target of many psychotherapies. We go back to their past sources through speech, in psychoanalysis, and through body and emotions, in the EMDR. We dismantle the mechanisms present in logical reasoning, in cognitive therapies, or simply by taking a step back and observing them at length as simple thoughts, in mindfulness meditation. In short, resources are not lacking to help you progress. This work of self-deconditioning takes time, but it is worth it ...

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