Nuggets of wisdom

6 Obstacles to the smooth functioning of marriage


This is why the man will leave his father and mother to cling to his wife and the two will be one flesh. (Ephesians 5:31)

This is probably one of the verses that couples have the most difficulty putting into practice in marriage. Becoming a single flesh is a time consuming process. First, because the marriage unites two different people from each other. Then because of the following obstacles.

6 Major obstacles to the smooth functioning of marriage

1 / Ignorance

Many people enter marriage without having ever been taught about marriage. In our churches, little is taught about marriage (apart from annual seminars). Very few churches take the time to teach brides and grooms about the realities of marriage. Many Christians enter marriage with very little Biblical knowledge on the subject.

2 / External influences to the couple

In every marriage, there are external influences that spouses are not always able to control, and which profoundly impact their ability to become one flesh. Some are good, but others can simply become toxic:

  • Children
  • The family and in-laws
  • The friends
  • Work
  • The pressures of life, stress, personal ambitions
  • The enemy of our souls.

3 / The differences between men and women

Men and women were conceived differently by God, both physically and emotionally. We see the world differently. We treat the information differently. We manage our relationships differently. We are different in the way of communicating.

4 / The way to communicate

Men tend to communicate from thought to thought. Women tend to communicate from heart to heart. Which is causing a lot of conflicts.

5 / The fact that the spouses have different visions.

No city, no divided family can survive. (Matthew 12:25)

Where there are two different visions, there is division.

6 / The differences specific to each couple

Each couple is made up of two unique individuals, each conceived differently. Each brings unique qualities, personality and opinions to the relationship:

  • Different perspectives on life. One of the spouses is rather positive and the other rather negative in most cases.
  • Different values
  • Different family history
  • Different personalities: Introvert / Extrovert; Organized / Disordered
  • Different ideas about children's education

All that has been listed in the 6 points above are all things that can become an obstacle to becoming ONE, according to the will of God.

But always remember that these differences exist by the will of God. This is part of God's plan. The purpose of marriage is not that the two are consistent with the image of the husband or that of the woman. The goal is to form a perfect mix of both. Remembering that differences are part of God's plan and are a blessing can really help us build strong marriages.

God made us different from each other and that's not a mistake! Click to tweet

The difference is not a problem! It is a blessing, a plus, a grace from God to help us maximize our potential and fulfill the purpose for which He created and connected us with our spouses. The key isacquire wisdom to take advantage of it rather than fighting to try to transform our spouse into our image.

May God help us !